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Here we go, first entry ever, and it has to be done. Resident Evil 5. I really do not like. It’s basically Resident Evil 4 with all the aspects that annoyed people multiplied by ten. Thus this rant, my first, is going to be based solely around one character.
Ashleyva. And will be mainly Resi 4 related. Seeing as they’re the same game.
So, Ashleyva. Otherwise known as Ashley from Resident Evil 4, and Sheva from Resident Evil 5. Though really, you can’t blame me for getting confused. They’re basically the same character. Only Sheva’s worse. You heard me.
Think you're getting what's in here? Think again, tough guy.
Sheva sticks around, constantly annoying you, and yes, while she may be able to fight back (a skill which Ashley sorely lacked), she is just as irritating and just as easily gets in the way. Back in Resident Evil 4, I’m surely not the only one who swung a knife at a box or barrel to claim the juicy goodies inside, only to have Ashley dive in the way and take the knife herself like some kind of deranged bodyguard.
At which point, Leon would promptly kneel to the ground, exclaim “no” in the same way someone would if they were told they had just won the lottery but had to keep it secret.
While we’re talking about Ashley, I remember quite often attempting to save her useless hide from hoards of zombies making a dash for her, and yes, I died in a few places while deflecting blows that were meant for the bitch herself. So while my corpse lay there, I couldn’t help but be amazed at Ashley calling me a pervert for just happening to have my cold dead eyes looking towards her skirt. “I’m sorry Ashley, I’ll go die over there next time.”
But that said, at least she had the courtesy to get kidnapped on a regular basis. I couldn’t have been the only one who breathed a sigh of relief as Ashley stupidly ran into trap after trap. Salazar and Saddler teasing me over the radio. Leon getting angry at her constant kidnapping, swearing revenge, me wishing the game was sentient so it could hear me shouting “keep the whore!”
Although I will say, one thing that always amused me. Ashley was a dog. No, I’m not just being cruel here. She was actually a dog. Think about it. Who else is willing to be locked in a box until it’s safe, and comes bounding out like a prize poodle when you whistle? I smell a Youtube video coming on. I’ll have to get around to that.
Anyway, after hearing lots of complaints over how annoying Ashley was (and her bloody habit of following you up ladders but not being able to get back down them again), what could Capcom do, but make it even worse in Resi 5? Fanservice at it’s best.
Sheva - Also a bitch
So the co-operation puzzles are back, but don’t seem to be too annoying this time round, a minor plus. But of course, the main problem is still there. Game over if your partner dies.
Excuse me if I sound a little horrified, but what the bloody hell?! I could have sworn, back in Bizarro World, we berated Daikatana for this exact thing! (As well as many others I admit) So how is this good? It wouldn’t be so bad if Sheva’s AI was any good, but it’s just as bad as Ashley’s. Why is it, the enemy AI is always so amazingly intelligent, while your computer partner runs around in circles throwing green herbs at you if you so much as get a splinter? I think we’re being screwed here people.
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