Also, the lyrics of some songs make no sense.

Not even especially “these days” either I guess. Let’s start with a particularly bad example.

Does anyone remember that song that goes “Oh Lord, won’t you buy me, a Mercedes Benz?” Exactly.

Now seeing as I can’t remember the actual lyrics to that song aside from that one line, I’ll quote Twisted Tunes’ version instead.

“Oh Lord, won’t you buy me, a Honda Accord. Mercedes insurance, I cannot afford.”

Just once, I would like the bloke upstairs (if indeed it is a bloke), to come down on his cloud, wearing his dressing gown and big bushy beard in tow, point at the lady and say “yes”. Then disappear back up into the stars again.

A few days later, while the woman is wondering why her Honda Accord hasn’t turned up yet, she prays to Morgan Freeman, and receives this in response:

“Listen lady, I said yes. I will not buy you a Honda Accord. Maybe you should have asked ‘Oh Lord, will you buy me one’ instead.

Woman stops praying, doesn’t vote for Morgan Freeman in the next Oscars and turns Buddhist.

Second bonus rant today – song lyrics that make no sense. Here’s one. Remember that song “You’re So Vain”? It goes “You’re so vain, you probably think this song’s about you.”

Well, grammatically speaking of course, it is about them. You are referring to this person using the word “you”. The song is quite obviously about them. So, Carly Simon, don’t try and trap your ex in your world of primary school English mistakes. You’re the one to blame here. No wonder he left you. That’s one step away from gruffly announcing “Ugg smash” and hitting him over the head with a club.

Also, Windows Live Writer sucks. I just had to re-edit this entire entry online. Egads.