We may have earned a few more points if  she hadn’t been smacked in the face by a violinist when she was coming down the stairs.

I am very surprised Germany didn’t score higher, after pulling out all stops on eyecandy levels, and the song was damn good too.

"Phwoar" would be the word

Then again, they haven’t won in 53 54 years, so I don’t know what I was expecting.

I may go down as being a wanker (hey, that’s what this website is here for right?) but I really did not see the attraction of Norway’s winning entry at all. Especially less so after his little “homophobic” issues.

Not heard about that? Well apparently some gay chaps wanted a photo taken with him. He refused because “he’s not gay”. That’s like refusing to have your photo taken with black people because you’re not black.

He also struck me as an arrogant asshole. Interrupting the presenters while they translate, and even during the end when he came back on to perform again, the presenters were attempting to officially close the show but were stopped mid-word by him addressing the crowds. The.. rapidly.. diminishing crowds I might add.

I could have sworn I heard a lot of booing as he was announced as the winner as well.

No, not that Waldo

A song I thought would have done a lot better was Finland’s entry by Waldo’s People. Very catchy, very Euro, very random capitalization. Then again I was surprised to see them get through the semi-finals at all. The dark haired one of the trio of backing singers was incredibly out of tune on that day, luckily she picked up for the final.. though obviously she didn’t do a good enough job.

Don’t get me wrong though, Eurovision is a lot of fun, it always just seems to incite anger during the results, when, despite all of their attempts, they just can’t seem to stamp out friendly voting.

Also, the lyrics of some songs make no sense.

Not even especially “these days” either I guess. Let’s start with a particularly bad example.

Does anyone remember that song that goes “Oh Lord, won’t you buy me, a Mercedes Benz?” Exactly.

Now seeing as I can’t remember the actual lyrics to that song aside from that one line, I’ll quote Twisted Tunes’ version instead.

“Oh Lord, won’t you buy me, a Honda Accord. Mercedes insurance, I cannot afford.”

Just once, I would like the bloke upstairs (if indeed it is a bloke), to come down on his cloud, wearing his dressing gown and big bushy beard in tow, point at the lady and say “yes”. Then disappear back up into the stars again.

A few days later, while the woman is wondering why her Honda Accord hasn’t turned up yet, she prays to Morgan Freeman, and receives this in response:

“Listen lady, I said yes. I will not buy you a Honda Accord. Maybe you should have asked ‘Oh Lord, will you buy me one’ instead.

Woman stops praying, doesn’t vote for Morgan Freeman in the next Oscars and turns Buddhist.

Second bonus rant today – song lyrics that make no sense. Here’s one. Remember that song “You’re So Vain”? It goes “You’re so vain, you probably think this song’s about you.”

Well, grammatically speaking of course, it is about them. You are referring to this person using the word “you”. The song is quite obviously about them. So, Carly Simon, don’t try and trap your ex in your world of primary school English mistakes. You’re the one to blame here. No wonder he left you. That’s one step away from gruffly announcing “Ugg smash” and hitting him over the head with a club.

Also, Windows Live Writer sucks. I just had to re-edit this entire entry online. Egads.